Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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