So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
