So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
