You were right. It hurts to walk today.
This house was built for laser tag.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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