I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
