Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
