Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
