Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
