mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
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