I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
We are two peas in an std pod
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
We need to get me chipped asap
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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