Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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