one two three fourrrrnication!
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Text me some of your sweat
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
