true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
cat food counts as protein by the way
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
