just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
