textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
