it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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