its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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