Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
