McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
