a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
