Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Randomize
