I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
