best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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