Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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