idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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