i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
