go do what you do best...puke behind churches
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
