I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
