So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
