so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
