Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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