I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
