the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
