His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
