Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
