what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
