whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
my liver is dry heaving
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
