Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
bring money and cleavage
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
