if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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