it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
