I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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