If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
she pinky promised me she was 18
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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