There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Damn victory sex feels great
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
