Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
The beers last night were like the tears from god
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
