You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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