Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
