Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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