brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
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