omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
We talked him into tasing himself.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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