that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
